Posted by: Valerie | December 11, 2009

A rant with a feline slant

Here I sit...

OK – It’s my turn. I need to vent sometimes too, you know. The problem is complete and utter boredom. All I do all day is sit on the back of my favourite chair and that’s what I do all night too. Now I am normally an active guy with places to go and things to attend to.

Scouting the property

My daily chores involve leaping into the branches of tall trees to check for intruders and other problems, then I have to round up any stray rodents that might be attempting to gain entry into my home and chase away larger interlopers such as stray dogs or Ginger, the feral cat that hangs around begging for my food. (I never got credit for it but that three-legged fox has completely disappeared!) I also have to accompany my humans when they take off into the bush in case they meet bears, wolves or other predators. So as you can see, my duties are quite wide-ranging and take a lot of energy but that’s fine because it keeps me active and my figure svelte.

Right now though, everything is on hold. We have been having a very serious storm. Everything is buried and I can’t find my regular pathways. The white plague has arrived and my world has disappeared. Even if I tried to walk out there I would simply disappear beneath the surface and be no better than the mice and moles I hunt.

It all happened so suddenly. I have been aware of the weather cooling and the nights coming earlier for some time now and there have been a couple of occasions when I have felt the need to shake my paws in anticipation of that white stuff. As recently as Monday I was able to go out with my humans to inspect the beach at the lake’s edge. It was very strange as the water had become hard and I was able to walk on it which is normally not possible due to its liquid nature.

Walking on water!

The following day The Stuff started to appear on the ground. In some manner that I haven’t quite figured out, it seems to be connected with white bits that fall out of the sky. This makes it very cold for me and my paws become very uncomfortable and require a lot of licking. For that reason I decided to remain on the enclosed porch and supervise as the humans operated a noisy machine (I don’t like noisy machines) and threw The Stuff around. This was a pointless procedure as The Stuff has continued to fall for four days and the pathways disappeared again.

So what to do? As all cats are, I am able to while the hours away in sleep. Only so much time can be passed in eating, grooming and visiting the litter box. I do quite enjoy playing at bed-making with the curly-haired human and sometimes I pursue an erratic fast-moving shiny red thing across the living-room and up and down the stairs. Occasionally it will travel round and round in circles which makes me dizzy and I never do catch the damn thing. As soon as I pounce upon it, it disappears! Talk about frustration! There is another object that sometimes engages my attention. It has many of the qualities of a snake (I will tell you about my exploits with a snake on another occasion, if you wish) but very often it just lies there quite unmoving unless I leap upon it or, strangely, if one of the humans is attached to it. Ah, me, some things just don’t make much sense.

The humans were away today, in spite of The Stuff, so I found myself alert and prowling aimlessly. And then I found a wonderful game – I practiced unwrapping Christmas presents which were lying messily all over the dining room table. Unrolling shiny ribbon and shredding tissue paper is kinda fun too. And you know, when they got home, I was waiting prettily by the door and they’ll never know it was me!

The human without so much hair, the one who likes to squeeze me till I squeal, expects me to sleep on his lap in the evenings so I guess I’ll oblige as he’s not a bad bloke really. Hope The Stuff doesn’t last too long or I may get as round as my brother in Ottawa who is not allowed to go out at all, hard as he tries. I reckon I got the best of it.

Me and my human

A bientot, mes amis.

Charles Archibald Winsor Bradford



  1. Very entertaining!

  2. yumm Catfood; …… again …. yawn

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: